[12:18] jakothewoods: You're at lunch right now, aren't you?
[12:19] wdalphin: not yet.
[12:19] wdalphin: probably sometime soon.
[12:19] jakothewoods: Ahhh. Well, I've watched the movie - after lunch we can discuss it if you like
[12:20] wdalphin: sure! I think I remember it. that's the one about the women on rollerskates that come out of the painting, right?
[12:20] jakothewoods: anytime before 2:30 that is - I have a health class I need to be at.
[12:20] jakothewoods: Yeah, the one who convinces that guy with the bad hair to build a roller derby dedicated to Zeus!
[12:21] wdalphin: good good
[12:21] wdalphin: I watched it again with Melissa on Sunday!
[12:21] jakothewoods: Why?
[12:22] wdalphin: We were looking for something to watch together, and she saw it on onDemand and got excited. It was her favorite movie as a little girl.
[12:22] wdalphin: She wanted to be Olivia Newton-John.
[12:22] jakothewoods: I have no acceptable reaction to any of this news.
[12:23] wdalphin: Didn't you want to be John Travolta in Grease?
[12:23] jakothewoods: No
[12:24] wdalphin: Didn't you want to be John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?
[12:25] jakothewoods: I've never ever wanted to be John Travolta.
[12:25] wdalphin: Didn't you want to be Andy Gibb?
[12:25] wdalphin: Richie Rich?
[12:25] wdalphin: Scooby Doo?
[12:26] jakothewoods: I wanted to be Roger Moore.
[12:26] wdalphin: Wrinkled?
[12:28] wdalphin: alright, looks like we're getting ready to go out. I'll be back as soon as I can.
[12:29] jakothewoods: okie dokie

tick tock...

[13:31] wdalphin: hey, I'm back.
[13:32] jakothewoods: Hey, sorry, when did you get back? We've got about an hour.
[13:33] wdalphin: I just got back.
[13:33] wdalphin: I don't think it'll take an hour to talk about Night Flier.
[13:33] jakothewoods: okay.
[13:33] jakothewoods: No I agree.
[13:33] wdalphin: It had some great gore to it.
[13:33] wdalphin: I liked the guy who had his head ripped backward on his spine. That was nice.
[13:33] jakothewoods: Pfft - it had some sensationalism in it. "Let's show his throat gone! Let's show a headless body/bodiless head!"
[13:34] wdalphin: Sensationalism? Or sensational gore? :D
[13:35] wdalphin: I think the main character had an exaggerated idea of "power of the press" though.
[13:35] jakothewoods: It was a typical movie-based-on-a-Stephen-King-novel. They got the story all wrong, and tried to capitalise in on the gore, with a few "typical" King-esque blushes. Like that Backwoods-Maine guy with the accent.
[13:35] wdalphin: "There's some guy going around killing entire airports full of people, and I'm going to chase him with my camera!"
[13:36] jakothewoods: I -hate- it when they exaggerate the Maine accent. I mean, yes, we know he writes about Maine a lot. We know that yes, some people talk like that. But WHY is there always that token "Maine-accent-hick" character. it's so fracking ANNOYING.
[13:36] wdalphin: It felt like there was supposed to be more back story, but it got edited out in favor of bodies torn in half.
[13:36] jakothewoods: You've read the story, right?
[13:37] wdalphin: I didn't notice, everybody in the movie was like "yap yap yap" and I was like, "man, this guy'd be more fun to watch if his mouth was just a giant, gaping wound."
[13:37] wdalphin: Yeah, of course I have.
[13:37] wdalphin: It's very short.
[13:37] wdalphin: Really, it's just the ending.
[13:38] wdalphin: but from the old photo album in the cessna, and the image of the guy as he looked before he became a vampire, I think they written a whole explanation for him, and then tossed it.
[13:38] jakothewoods: So you noticed that when they translated to a screenplay, they tried to add in all this characterisation, so that you'd identify with the reporter, so you'd understand what a dick he is... they even added in the second reporter character so that he could leave his dickishness to someone else at the end.
[13:38] wdalphin: I-- I did NOT identify with the dick reporter.
[13:38] wdalphin: what are you trying to say
[13:39] jakothewoods: I mean... like you said, the actual written story was just the end of the movie. They had to add in all this ricketa-racketa to "make it make sense" because movie watchers aren't as intelligent as book readers, and they have to have everything spelled out for them. Bah!
[13:39] wdalphin: If I had been the reporter, I would have been like, "crazy fucker tearing out people's throats? SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR-- the police."
[13:40] jakothewoods: Yeah - lots of dismemebered bodies? I'll stick to taking pictures of dead babies, thanks.
[13:40] wdalphin: Well, I think the added ricketa-racketa was thrown in to keep the movie from being less than a half hour long.
[13:40] jakothewoods: Have you read "The Langoliers"?
[13:40] wdalphin: No.
[13:40] wdalphin: I'm not a fan of King when he tries to write science fiction.
[13:40] jakothewoods: Have you seen the made-for-tv-movie, "The Langoliers"?
[13:41] wdalphin: I avoid made-for-tv-movies of King stories. They tend to suck.
[13:41] wdalphin: With the exception of It.
[13:42] jakothewoods: Any movie, tv show, or adaptation of King's stuff sucks. Even when he's involved in the translation. The only thing any good was... well, The Shining wasn't rabidly horrible, but it was still off, and te creepshow things were semi-decent, but only because no one took them seriously at all.
[13:42] wdalphin: The Shining was great.
[13:42] wdalphin: Shawshank Redemption was great.
[13:43] wdalphin: Christine is damn good.
[13:43] wdalphin: Carrie was alright, though I don't like Sissy Spacek.
[13:44] jakothewoods: okay, Shawshank Redemption was good - you have me there. And Stand By Me was good. Shining was semi-okay, but not a faithful adaptation. Christine was kinda crappy, but not nearly as bad as his later stuff. I've never liked Carrie.
[13:44] wdalphin: Stand By Me was another good one.
[13:44] wdalphin: I liked Cat's Eye too
[13:44] wdalphin: and The Dead Zone
[13:44] jakothewoods: I've never seen Apt Pupil, but I've heard it wasn't bad.
[13:44] wdalphin: oh my god, don't forget The Running Man!
[13:45] jakothewoods: Cat's Eye was crap too. And the Dead Zone. I think they've done Cujo, but I could be wrong, but my guess is, if they've done it, it's crap.
[13:45] wdalphin: actually, The Tommyknockers was a decent made-for-tv adaptation, although it would have been a hundred times better if it had been made for theaters.
[13:45] jakothewoods: The Running Man story was great (AND Science Fiction, thankyouverymuch). I've only seen snippets of the movie.
[13:46] wdalphin: I also like Sometimes They Come Back, Pet Sematary, Needful Things and Thinner.
[13:46] wdalphin: oh my god, you haven't seen The Running Man?!?!
[13:48] jakothewoods: I just want a DECENT adaptation of "Jerusalem's Lot." That would make me happy.
[13:48] wdalphin: ah
[13:48] wdalphin: another vampire movie
[13:48] wdalphin: Return to Salem's Lot was fun.
[13:48] wdalphin: Michael Moriarty!
[13:49] jakothewoods: The Salem's Lot movies were horrible. I'm talking about a movie based on the Short story that the novels were originally based on.
[13:49] jakothewoods: Er, novel. there was only one.
[13:49] wdalphin: Night Flier was good for a gorehound, but the story was very implausible, but I can't fault that because the story it stemmed from was also implausible.
[13:50] jakothewoods: Yeah, much like the Langoliers, there are short stories by King out there that would have made much better movie scripts. They always seem to choose the weirdest, worst stories to make movies of.
[13:50] wdalphin: Honestly, how does a tabloid photographer get to a crime scene repeatedly before police do? And what did he hope to accomplish by catching up with the killer?
[13:51] jakothewoods: He wanted fame. And pictures.
[13:51] wdalphin: If the guy hadn't been a vampire, he probably would have killed him.
[13:51] wdalphin: Some fame.
[13:51] jakothewoods: Which reminds me, the whole "welcome to hell" sequence that sets up the "surprise" ending was fairly creepy and cool.
[13:51] wdalphin: and what was the point of the vampire letting him drink his blood? Doesn't that make you a vampire? Why did he die?
[13:52] wdalphin: I liked the "welcome to hell" transition too... that's the part I'd seen before.
[13:52] jakothewoods: Although i simply cannot understand why people feel the need to make vampires into these wrinkled, inhuman, ugly bat/pitbull/humanoid things. It's like the very annoying tendency to make werewolves look like humanoid dogs. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS???
[13:53] wdalphin: tradition?
[13:53] jakothewoods: I wondered about him drinking the vampire's blood too. That caught me off guard.
[13:53] wdalphin: I guess vampire blood makes you hallucinate horrific shit... which is quite helpful in making a getaway.
[13:54] wdalphin: If I were a vampire, and I was being chased by Van Helsing and a bunch of angry villagers, I'd cut myself open and spray blood everywhere and then run away while everybody was all fucked up and high or whatever.
[13:54] jakothewoods: It's not traditional, that's the thing, it's just more sensationalism. Vampires looked human, albeit, slightly plaaer, and possibly a little dessicated if they hadn't fed recently. But Dracula himself, after feeding, was described as looking robust and healthy. As for werewolves... no, Iwon't go into werewolves. This is not a werewolf movie.
[13:54] jakothewoods: If I were a vampire, I'd get a job screening blood for the local bloodbank or something.
[13:55] wdalphin: Then again, I could just spray blood at the villagers and have them panic, trying to avoid getting it in their mouths.
[13:55] wdalphin: I would get a job at a 7-11, because honestly, who would look for a vampire there?
[13:55] wdalphin: and I could work nights.
[13:56] jakothewoods: That's scary shit man. graveyard at the 7-11 can be dangerous.
[13:56] wdalphin: dude
[13:56] wdalphin: I'm a vampire
[13:56] wdalphin: what am I afraid of?
[13:56] jakothewoods: crosses?
[13:56] jakothewoods: Holy water?
[13:56] wdalphin: "oh, I hope no fucking gangs try to stab me in the heart and cut my head off."
[13:56] jakothewoods: Stakes?
[13:57] jakothewoods: Anyway, what do we rate this movie?
[13:57] wdalphin: hmmm
[13:57] wdalphin: on a regular scale, I'd give it two stars.
[13:58] wdalphin: But I want to give it fifty gallons of fake blood and two over-sized fangs.
[13:58] wdalphin: and I want the songs from Xanadu to get out of my head.
[13:58] jakothewoods: I give it one. Gore doesn't impress me. On a designer scale, I'd give it a bloody cessna and a half.
[13:59] wdalphin: If Gene Kelly had been in a horror movie, it would not be Night Flier.
[13:59] jakothewoods: Dude, amusingly enough, "Got to Believe We Are Magic" started playing at the Pharmacy over the intercom while Steph and I were getting her prescription. It was odd.
[14:00] jakothewoods: What famous celebrity WOULD be in Night Flier?
[14:00] wdalphin: It's just called "Magic".
[14:00] jakothewoods: Roger Moore, perhaps?
[14:00] jakothewoods: Whatever. It was playing.
[14:00] wdalphin: I think Bing Crosby would be in Night Flier.
[14:00] jakothewoods: Bing Crosby would kick the beejesus out of the Night Flier and then find his wife and beat her.
[14:01] jakothewoods: Or would Bing BE the Night Flier?
[14:01] wdalphin: Bing would be the relentless pursuer, or he would be the Maine guy you hate.
[14:01] jakothewoods: Oh, wait. I can totally see him as the hateful Maine fellow.
[14:02] wdalphin: next week, we will watch Hologram Man!
[14:02] wdalphin: it'll be better than Night Flier, I promise.
[14:02] jakothewoods: I'm sure Steph will be thrilled.
[14:02] wdalphin: doesn't it sound cool?
[14:02] wdalphin: That's how I picked it.
[14:02] wdalphin: I read the name and was like, "awesome, Al's got his own movie!"
[14:03] jakothewoods: jesus....
[14:03] wdalphin: by the way, watch Brick
[14:03] wdalphin: it's really damn good.
[14:03] wdalphin: Like seriously good.
[14:03] jakothewoods: I've seen Brick. It's really good. I want to own it.
[14:04] wdalphin: me too.
[14:04] jakothewoods: I like how Tommy's grown up. :)
[14:04] wdalphin: I got Silent Hill over the weekend too. That's not bad.
[14:04] jakothewoods: I saw that in the theatre. I... wasn't that impressed, but then, Steph really liked it, and she's played all the games...
[14:05] wdalphin: I really like the level of detail they put into it. I knew the story already, but the amount of detail they put into everything is awesome.
[14:05] wdalphin: All movies should be made with that much detail.
[14:05] jakothewoods: :)
[14:05] wdalphin: also, non-CGI monsters
[14:05] jakothewoods: Is Hologram Man a sequel?
[14:05] wdalphin: I don't know.
[14:05] jakothewoods: Okay.
[14:06] wdalphin: Hologram Man: The Quantum Leap Movie 2
[14:06] jakothewoods: ...right.
[14:07] wdalphin: Hologram Man: Moriarty's Revenge: Elementary Dear Data PART II
[14:07] wdalphin: Actually, I guess that'd be PART III.
[14:07] jakothewoods: I liked those episodes.
[14:08] wdalphin: well, that filled our Star Trek reference quota for the day.
[14:08] jakothewoods: Heh. :) I gotta get ready and all, so I'll catch you later, hey? And I'm sorry about not talking so much lately - my key drive is all screwed up currently.
[14:09] wdalphin: no problem. Have a good class.
[14:09] wdalphin: move along, move along, like I know ya do.
[14:09] jakothewoods: ta ta.

Conclusion:
Jak: *
Wil: **