[09:46] wdalphin: yoyo
[09:48] jakothewoods: There are two-day-old tomatoes in my pockets.
[09:49] wdalphin: have they been there two days?
[09:49] jakothewoods: yes. That's what I meant
[09:49] wdalphin: why?
[09:50] jakothewoods: I forgot they were there, and they stayed there
[09:50] wdalphin: and still they stay there, even though you have detected their presence now.
[09:50] jakothewoods: actually, now I've eaten them.
[09:51] wdalphin: dude.
[09:51] jakothewoods: they were tomato-y
[09:51] wdalphin: dude, they were in your pants for two days.
[09:51] jakothewoods: *shrugs*
[09:52] wdalphin: I found an M&M on the floor of my cubicle last week. It must have been there a few days when I was tossing them in the air and trying to catch them in my mouth. But that's different, because M&Ms are hard-coated, and our floor is rather emaculate.
[09:52] jakothewoods: I like M&Ms
[09:53] wdalphin: if it had been tomatoes I was trying to catch in my mouth, I would not eat it two days later.
[09:53] jakothewoods: it's not like my pants are dirty.
[09:53] wdalphin: And if the M&M had fallen into my pocket for two days, I would not eat it. I'd thank god that it hadn't melted and soiled the inside of my pocket.
[09:55] wdalphin: So did you like Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare?
[09:56] wdalphin: aka The Edge of Hell
[09:58] wdalphin: *chirp chirp*
[10:02] wdalphin: well, geez, goodbye I guess.
[10:06] jakothewoods: Sorry, had to seperate some fighting cats.
[10:06] jakothewoods: :p
[10:06] wdalphin: :P
[10:06] jakothewoods: Of course I watched it. I am the intercessor
[10:06] wdalphin: I didn't ask if you watched it, I asked if you liked it.
[10:07] jakothewoods: Oh. Um, it was... two hours... or movie...
[10:07] jakothewoods: OF movie...
[10:07] wdalphin: yeah, it was pretty funny, I thought.
[10:07] jakothewoods: It kinda changed gears about 4/5s of the way through.
[10:08] jakothewoods: And there was a lot of "dead air" space... when the camera would just be showing the empty yard, or a lighted window... for two whole boring minutes...
[10:08] wdalphin: Yeah, like right at the end, when Jon-Mikl Thor was talking to Baelzebub (or just "Bub", as he called him).
[10:08] wdalphin: oh man, the beginning cracked me up
[10:09] wdalphin: When it showed the moving road, and then panned up to reveal the band's van... like, "here is the van of protagonists"... but then it went right back to staring at the road, and then panned up again, like "still there!" and then we spent three minutes watching the van drive without once looking inside to introduce the people.
[10:10] wdalphin: The whole beginning with the three minute long driving sequence seemed like it was just there to play music to us.
[10:10] jakothewoods: And the fight scene at the end with John's glistening muscles being squirmed on by one-eyed starfsh was a little ludicrous.
[10:11] jakothewoods: Starting at the beginning, however...
[10:11] wdalphin: One of those evil starfish things almost missed latching onto his chest, but fortunately he caught it and stuck it on himself.
[10:11] wdalphin: yes, the beginning!
[10:11] jakothewoods: when the father of the doomed family opened the oven, and that demon slid out, my first thought was "Aw, Marge, you burned the chicken!"
[10:11] wdalphin: rofl
[10:12] wdalphin: I wanted to see the oven demon again. Those little cyclopian spitting demons were silly. Like poorly-made sock puppets... that drooled.
[10:13] wdalphin: oh, and their drummer was the positively WORST fake British person I've ever seen.
[10:13] jakothewoods: every damn non-human thhing in that movie was sad!
[10:13] wdalphin: You could see him struggling with each line to say it in a cockney accent.
[10:13] jakothewoods: I think the drummer was supposed to be Austrailian, which does not mitigate the fact that you're right - his accent was awful.
[10:13] wdalphin: Whatever he was supposed to be, he was clearly an American with an American accent.
[10:14] wdalphin: He practically puked his words out struggling to retain what little accent he was able to put on everything.
[10:14] jakothewoods: it sounded to me like he was trying to talk through a mouthful of rocks, at times.
[10:14] wdalphin: And their band manager was a proud member of the Archie Fan Club.
[10:16] wdalphin: what kind of heavy metal rock band let's Harry Anderson lead them around Toronto in an Archie Fan Club jacket?
[10:17] wdalphin: breaking up cats again?
[10:18] jakothewoods: we got a new cat - :p The others are jealous right now. :(
[10:18] wdalphin: I read.
[10:18] jakothewoods: I notice that every "main" female in the movie got naked at least once.
[10:18] jakothewoods: You seem to have a knack for picking movies.
[10:18] wdalphin: did they? I thought the married one didn't.
[10:19] wdalphin: it doesn't really matter though, because, as Jon-Mikl Thor revealed to us, everyone besides him were figments of his imagination, used to deceive Bub!
[10:20] jakothewoods: oh, I'm sorry. You're right, the married one didn't. :p How's that for ironic?
[10:21] jakothewoods: I'm glad I got to see Jon-Mikl's butt by the way, in that shower scene. I don't see nearly enough heavily-muscled long-haired blonde hard rocker's butts these days.
[10:21] wdalphin: I wondered though... when he revealed that everyone else was just "a shadow" he created to trick the evil demons... does that mean that the whole shower sex scene with him and his girlfriend earlier was five minutes of him masturbating in the shower?
[10:22] wdalphin: she wasn't there... and yet he had sex in the shower.
[10:22] jakothewoods: even Archangels who are the intercessor need to relieve some stress now and then.
[10:22] wdalphin: it was like watching somebody soap up Ozzy Osbourne.
[10:23] jakothewoods: btw, have you ever heard of the archangel "triton"?
[10:23] jakothewoods: I thought Triton was from Roman mythology.
[10:23] wdalphin: Triton was Poiseidon's messenger
[10:23] wdalphin: he was also The Little Mermaid's father.
[10:24] jakothewoods: so we're mixing Roman and Christian mythology now.
[10:24] wdalphin: well, Jon Mikl Thor is, anyway.
[10:24] wdalphin: Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare had some excellent quotes at least!
[10:25] wdalphin: "Well, it sounded like the scream came from down here, but-- RIGHT, let's check upstairs."
[10:25] wdalphin: and I'd swear one of the women said, "I'm sure Phil's not dead or anything, or he would have called!"
[10:26] jakothewoods: I don't think Dialogue was what they were working for there, mostly. Lots of skin. And it -did- come right after a boob scene.
[10:27] wdalphin: By Boob, I assume you mean Phil, the Archie Fan Band Manager, Harry Anderson look-alike.
[10:28] jakothewoods: and the Austrailian drummer's slutty girlfriend. Yeah.
[10:28] wdalphin: she wasn't slutty, that was a demon.
[10:28] wdalphin: She was upstairs, being totally unslutty with the rest of the band.
[10:28] jakothewoods: The movie just didn't strike me, y'know? I mean, it was a frihtening melange of big hair, bad rock music, and breasts.
[10:29] wdalphin: She wouldn't really hit on Jughead, she didn't like anybody. She barely even liked String or Strung or whatever the fuck that faux-Aussie drummer guy's name was.
[10:30] wdalphin: you left out the scaly green arms and satan throwing ninja-starfish demons and then grappling with Jon Mikl Thor in Wrestle-mania makeup
[10:31] wdalphin: followed by Satan throwing Jon Mikl Thor down, and then declaring "you win this time, Triton!" and exploding in a tiny roman candle-sized fire.
[10:32] jakothewoods: Oh, yes - I tried o block out the oiled-up rock star in chainmail bikini briefs. Sorry.
[10:32] wdalphin: SPIKED chainmail bikini briefs.
[10:32] jakothewoods: Gotta be careful putting that stuff on, y'know. Don't want to wear that inside out...
[10:32] wdalphin: Flexing his muscles to show his strength
[10:33] jakothewoods: And crushing to death one-eyed starfish who were harmlessly clinging to him
[10:33] wdalphin: hehehe, if he HAD worn it inside out, he could have a perverse stigmata going on.
[10:33] jakothewoods: I don't think Christ ever bled there
[10:34] wdalphin: Christ never fought Satan in chainmail bikini briefs.
[10:34] wdalphin: I would pay to see it if he did though.
[10:35] wdalphin: Hey, how about those random Canadian groupies wandering by, eh?
[10:35] jakothewoods: Christ should have fought Satan in chainmail bikini briefs. I'd be Christian if he had.
[10:36] wdalphin: Four trampy teen girls drive up to the secret hideout of the heavy metal rock group LATE AT NIGHT, and somehow expect the band to be happy to see them (considering everyone in the band had a girl already) and then are disgusted that Jughead wants them to strut their stuff.
[10:36] jakothewoods: I wondered, when the groupies stopped by, if they thought perhaps that the movie didn't have enough nudity in it, and thus were introducing more potential nudity. But it was not to be
[10:37] wdalphin: it wasn't even potential nudity, it was bizarre non-nudity. The whole scene seemed to have no point. Nobody died, nobody got naked, nobody did anything. Four girls showed up, came inside, got disgusted and left. It was completely unnecessary.
[10:38] wdalphin: I think the main groupie girl summed up the entire scene right in the beginning when she rhetorically asked the others, "what am I, retarded?"
[10:38] jakothewoods: maybe it was for credibility? "See, we're not completely about nudity and drugs and music!"
[10:38] wdalphin: I didn't see any drugs.
[10:38] wdalphin: the music wasn't terrible though.
[10:38] jakothewoods: I did notice a lot of drug references... mostly about "grinding cocaine." Do you really grind cocaine?
[10:39] wdalphin: YOU GIVE ME ENERGY
[10:39] wdalphin: EN
[10:39] wdalphin: ER
[10:39] wdalphin: GY
[10:39] wdalphin: I grind cocaine between my pulsing abdominal muscles.
[10:40] wdalphin: fuck! why doesn't this movie have an OST?
[10:41] wdalphin: I might have to buy the DVD just so I can have the music video of YOU GIVE ME ENERGY
[10:42] jakothewoods: what's an OST?
[10:43] jakothewoods: I didn't watch the music videos. I finished the movie, sat there stunned for about five minutes. Shook my head, put the movie back in the netflix sleeve, mailed it out, and then went back inside and purged my bowels of the evil of Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare.
[10:43] wdalphin: OST = Original Soundtrack
[10:47] wdalphin: Maybe for my next pick, I'll have us watch the sequel!
[10:48] jakothewoods: There's a sequel? You're lying.
[10:48] jakothewoods: YOU'RE LYING! YOU BASTARD!
[10:48] wdalphin: why would I lie about something like that? :-o
[10:48] wdalphin: Behold! Intercessor: Another Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480075/
[10:50] jakothewoods: I hate you.
[10:51] wdalphin: you mean hate like the good kind of hate? :D
[10:51] wdalphin: Like when Grumpy Smurf says he hates everything, but he really means he loves it, but just isn't comfortable showing his true feelings?
[10:51] jakothewoods: This stuff is going to rot my eyes out
[10:52] jakothewoods: Regardless, our next film is my pick.
[10:52] wdalphin: Hey, at least it didn't take itself too seriously.
[10:52] jakothewoods: Take The Lead.
[10:52] jakothewoods: Wil, it couldn't take itself seriously if it tried.
[10:52] jakothewoods: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0446046/
[10:52] wdalphin: the Antonio Banderas movie?
[10:52] jakothewoods: That's the one. :-D
[10:53] jakothewoods: It's about -dancing-.
[10:53] wdalphin: the "Dance teacher teaches Ghetto kids to love da learnin' by teaching them that hot women tango with men who can dance, and then they teach him how to magically incorporate his tango lessons into their gritty street dance moves" movie?
[10:55] wdalphin: Does it have any monsters in it?
[10:55] jakothewoods: you mean like muppet-monsters?
[10:55] wdalphin: Any kind of monsters.
[10:55] wdalphin: Does anybody die in it?
[10:56] wdalphin: Is there at least a celestial interference or alien abduction?
[10:59] jakothewoods: none of those things occur. It is a feel-good movie in which a teacher fills young, angry, angsty students with a feeling of self-worth and accomplishment, against the odds of their upbringing.
[10:59] jakothewoods: and it's got -dancing-.
[10:59] wdalphin: it doesn't have singing in it, does it?
[10:59] wdalphin: Dancing I can cope with
[11:00] jakothewoods: not the kind that you fear, I'm thinking.
[11:00] jakothewoods: don't worry, next time I'll do some kind of musical.
[11:00] wdalphin: But if people in the movie start to spontaneously sing AND dance in a choreographed manner, I hurl.
[11:00] jakothewoods: well, that's your problem. ;)
[11:01] wdalphin: like those "feel good" movies where a family is washing dishes and some song comes on the radio, and suddenly they're all singing the song and dancing in unison in exactly the same way, as if they TRAINED for the dish-washing dance marathon
[11:01] jakothewoods: you mean... kinda like... The Happiness of The Katakuris?
[11:01] wdalphin: no, that was a musical.
[11:01] wdalphin: You can't rent a musical and not expect that sort of thing.
[11:02] jakothewoods: You mean like one of the Brady Bunch movies?
[11:02] wdalphin: I'm talking about normal fucking movies where normal everyday shit is going on, and then some group of friends or small family start singing and dancing with each other like they're the Partridge Family.
[11:02] jakothewoods: You mean like The Big Chill.
[11:03] wdalphin: sure
[11:03] wdalphin: I mean like Stepmom.
[11:03] wdalphin: I mean like The Ex-wives Club
[11:03] wdalphin: I mean like all those huggy chick flicks Melissa watches.
[11:04] jakothewoods: Never heard of any of those. :) No worries though. We watch -good- trash. :)
[11:04] wdalphin: Melissa might watch this with me.
[11:04] wdalphin: It's got Antonio in it.
[11:05] jakothewoods: Oi... that says something to me...
[11:05] wdalphin: Hey, you picked it.
[11:05] wdalphin: well this is going to fuck up my netflix recommendations severely.
[11:06] jakothewoods: ah well. So what do you give tthe Nightmare?
[11:06] wdalphin: thanks a lot, Netflix is now recommending I rent Marilyn Hotchkiss's Ballroom Dancing and Charm School.
[11:06] jakothewoods: :-D
[11:06] jakothewoods: My job is done here.
[11:06] wdalphin: 3 stars for Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare!
[11:07] wdalphin: wait
[11:07] wdalphin: I mean 3 STARFISH DEMONS!
[11:07] jakothewoods: I give it two starfish demons. It was a sad excuse for two hours
[11:08] wdalphin: I don't think it was even two hours.
[11:09] wdalphin: AND LET ME TELL YOU, MY FRIEND
[11:09] jakothewoods: it was close enough. :(
[11:09] wdalphin: IF YOU THINK ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE AND EXTERMINATOR CITY ARE AS BAD AS THEY COME, I CAN FIND MUCH MUCH WORSE FOR YOU, BELIEVE ME.
[11:10] jakothewoods: I don't think you can find worse than Exterminator City.
[11:10] wdalphin: I can.
[11:10] wdalphin: And I will
[11:11] jakothewoods: you're all talk
[11:11] wdalphin: if you continue to try to equalize things by forcing us to watch Antonio Banderas dance in front of ghetto high school kids.
[11:11] wdalphin: well no, wait
[11:11] wdalphin: that's already happening.
[11:11] wdalphin: but if you continue to pick movies like this, I will be forced to pick even WORSE.
[11:12] jakothewoods: Bring it on.
[11:12] jakothewoods: I'll make you watch Milo and Otis
[11:12] wdalphin: you can't!
[11:12] wdalphin: HA HA
[11:12] wdalphin: I've already seen it
[11:12] jakothewoods: shit
[11:13] wdalphin: meanwhile, the Wayan Brothers continue to heap upon us movies that I can force you to watch.
[11:14] jakothewoods: Stupid White Chicks?
[11:14] wdalphin: perhaps...
[11:14] jakothewoods: :p
[11:14] wdalphin: maybe I will make us watch Phat Girlz!
[11:14] wdalphin: Or Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
[11:15] wdalphin: 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain
[11:16] jakothewoods: Your threats are really not that frightening. I watch bad movies all the time.
[11:16] wdalphin: like what?
[11:16] jakothewoods: Match Point
[11:17] wdalphin: That wasn't that bad.
[11:17] jakothewoods: Neither Steph nor I was interested in finishing it
[11:17] wdalphin: how far in did you get?
[11:18] jakothewoods: about 3/4s of the way
[11:18] wdalphin: so you have no idea how it ended.
[11:18] jakothewoods: I don't care. I had no investment in it
[11:18] wdalphin: he dies.
[11:19] jakothewoods: I don't care
[11:19] wdalphin: the police find the ring he tossed, and he uses his wife as a hostage in a standoff, and then her father shoots him.
[11:20] wdalphin: god damnit, Netflix, why do you keep recommending that I rent Inuyasha? FUCK YOU, NETFLIX.
[11:21] jakothewoods: I ignore my reccomendations
[11:22] wdalphin: I don't even know why it's recommending all this anime. I've NEVER rented anime from them.
[11:22] wdalphin: it recommends 45 fucking anime titles, and only 3 horror, goddamnit, I want recommendations in horror!
[11:23] jakothewoods: I don't know what to tell you. Rent more horror. :)
[11:23] wdalphin: I already rent horror constantly!
[11:23] wdalphin: I've got The Hills Have Eyes coming up, as well as Final Destination 3 and The Fog
[11:24] wdalphin: why is Match Point in your queue?
[11:24] jakothewoods: no.
[11:24] wdalphin: according to Netflix it is.
[11:24] jakothewoods: it shouldn't be
[11:24] wdalphin: Carnivale, Match Point, Imagine Me & You, and Battlestar Gallactica
[11:26] wdalphin: anyway, I'll go post this
[11:26] jakothewoods: fixing netflix...
[11:27] jakothewoods: I see no Imagine Me & You
[11:27] wdalphin: I think Netflix is confused. It doesn't even have my movies in order.
[11:28] jakothewoods: bleah

Conclusion:
Jak: two starfish demons
Wil: Three starfish demons